Thursday, February 21, 2013
Conflicting Values: Muslim Teenagers and High schoolBy Karen Pryer-Salahuddin For young Muslims, living in a non-Islamic society, the pressures to conform and to be like everyone else are oftentimes overwhelming. School dances, senior proms, co-ed class trips, weekend trips to the movie theaters, malls and countless other places and activities that not only involve intermingling, but also promote other non-Islamic behavior, are all parts of the tapestry that make up a teenage Muslim's life in the West. As parents we have to acknowledge the dichotomous nature of our teenagers' existences, and offer support and assistance in making good decisions. It's not enough for us to simply say no to these activities, but we have to explain why they are not acceptable and offer Islamic alternatives. As a young Muslim or Muslimah , you may be finding it very difficult to even come to terms with your Islamic identity, when the majority of your peers dont even know what being a Muslim means, or what Islam is really all about. As a parent I can think of at least three issues that readily come to my mind, when I look at our Muslim youth: 1. They feel alienated and frustrated because of the duality of their
CHILDREN'S RIGHTS ON PARENTSAbu Rafey (R.A.) relates that "I saw the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam saying the adhaan of salaah in the ear of his grandson, Hasan, when the child was born to his daughter Fatima."
Commentary: In this hadeeth only the saying of adhaan has been mentioned, but in another hadeeth reported by Husain (R.A.) the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam prescribed the saying of adhaan in the right ear and iqaamah in the left ear (of the new-born child, and also mentioned its auspiciousness. He said, that on account of it, the child remained safe from infantile epilepsy. As these ahaadeeth show, the primary claim of a child on his parents is that his ears, and through his ears, his head and heart are made aquainted with the name of the Almighty and His Oneness and with the Call of Faith and salaah. The best way to it, evidently, is that adhaan and iqaamah are said in his ears, as these impart the
Building Children's CharacterBy Sheikh Muhammad Salih Al-Munajjid
Question: Many people are concerned about their children’s unstable characters and the effects of luxury on their personalities. How can we introduce strength and honor into our children’s characters?
Answer (by Sheikh Munaajid): Praise be to Allah. The issue referred to in the question is one of the most serious problems in raising children nowadays. Some of the Islamic solutions to this problem and ways of instilling strength and honour in our children’s character are listed below: Takniyyah (using the kunya or patronymic in addressing children: Calling a young boy "Abu Foolaan" ("Father of so-and-so) or a young girl "Umm Foolaan" ("Mother of so-and-so") will make the child feel more responsible and grown up, so he will become more mature and will feel above normal childishness. The Prophet (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) used to give kunyas to children. Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "The Prophet (peace and blessings of Alaah be upon him) was the best of people in attitude and manners. I had a brother whom people used to call Abu ‘Umayr. I think he was just past the age of weaning, and whenever he came along the Prophet would say to him, ‘O Abu ‘Umayr, what did the nughayr do (Ya Abaa ‘Umayr ma fa’ala al-nuhgayr)?’" (The nughayr was a small bird with which he used to play). (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 5735).
Building a Child's Self-Esteemby Mildred M. El-Amin "O ye people! Worship your guardian Lord, Who created you and those before you that ye may become righteous." Quran 2:21
Family Life Question: "Children frequently express feelings of not being liked by other children and not being able to do things before making an attempt. What are some ways to encourage self-confidence in children?"
Dear Parents: Children who are morally and spiritually conscience develop a sense of their own self-worth. Helping our children develop healthy self-esteem is one of the most important things that parents can do for them; it is the foundation of their faith and commitment to Allah. Children need to be assured that they are a special gift from Allah and they are to dedicate their talents and resources to Thy service--this gives them value, purpose and direction for life. Through every phase of a child's development, they need provisions for moral and spiritual enrichment that encourages them to truly reverence Allah and to thus value the beauty in themselves. "We have indeed created man in the best of molds." (Quran 95:4) There is no fault in Allah's creation; to man, Allah gave the purest and best nature. Our duty is to preserve, and nurture the distinctive character that Allah has created. Healthy feelings about oneself or high self-esteem is best started in the home, and this needs to be cultivated in our children from birth. Thankfulness for who Allah has
A Wise Young Muslim Boy[Adapted into English from "Manaqib Abi Hanifah" written by Imam Muwaffaq Ibn Ahmad al-Makki (d. 568 Hijri). Dar al-Kitab al-'Arabiy, Beirut, 1981/1401H.] Many years ago, during the time of the Tabi'in (the generation of Muslims after the Sahabah), Baghdad was a great city of Islam. In fact, it was the capital of the Islamic Empire and, because of the great number of scholars who lived there, it was the center of Islamic knowledge. One day, the ruler of Rome at the time sent an envoy to Baghdad with three challenges for the Muslims. When the messenger reached the city, he informed the khalifah that he had three questions which he challenged the Muslims to answer. The khalifah gathered together all the scholars of the city and the Roman messenger climbed upon a high platform and said, "I have come with three questions. If you answer them, then I will leave with you a great amount of wealth which I have brought from the king of Rome."
12Tips for Child rearingby Ibrahim Bowers
"Don't touch those!" the father commands as his child plays with the dishes on a shelf at his host's house. A few seconds later, the father looks up from his conversation with his host, and his child is still playing with the dishes. "I told you not to touch those!" the child's father repeats. A few seconds later, the father looks up and sees his child still playing with the dishes. The father says nothing and continues his conversation with the host. It happens all the time. Children are given orders, and when they don't obey, the parent simply goes back to his conversation and forgets. What should parents do in this situation? Some parents would say that we should stop the child, others that we should punish him, and others that he is "just a child," and we should not expect too much from him. As Muslim parents, we have an obligation to bring up our children in the best manner - to teach them right from wrong and to show them what we and society expect from them. Those who give opinions on this matter usually use the Qur'an or hadith to support their positions, and it may be difficult to establish, without a doubt, who is more correct. However, as parents, we either have to find the correct
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
8 Tips for Dealing with Your Child's Teenage YearsTeenage Years: Most Difficult for the Parents "I never asked to be born!" "Stop trying to control my life!" "I hate you!" You thought you were over the hard part---changing diapers and being awakened throughout the night by your crying baby, dealing with an uncontrollable two-year old "monster," and trying to handle a mischievous child, who was always getting into trouble at school. But now comes the really hard part---coping with a rebellious, often rude and obnoxious, teenager.
Muslim Parents: Not Immune from Teenage Problems The teenage years have historically been a difficult period for parents in America, with very few exceptions. Struggling to find their own place in the world, teenagers often rebel against the ways of their parents. They want to experiment to find out what is best for them. And, unfortunately, Muslim parents may also face many of the same problems with their teenagers that non-Muslim families face. Muslim children can also be tempted to drink alcohol or take drugs, be physically attracted to someone of the opposite sex in